Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
