As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
