pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
