I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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