We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
