you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
