I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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