I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize