New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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