Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
