when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
