Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
