JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
