So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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