There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
