omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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