Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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