So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We need a shit load of segways right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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