If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
