she was so not down for the gang bang
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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