clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
