TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
