Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
