To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
