On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Send help, water and tortillas.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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