You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
