i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
