Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
