Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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