Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
