did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
