Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize