so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize