another moral hangover. fuck.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize