if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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