I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
