The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
