what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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