I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
