Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
