apparently the secret to your success is patron
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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