let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize