I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
