youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
