ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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