tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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