Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
