Sry I called you an 8
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
