Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
