I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
