using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
