I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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