Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
