I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
