we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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