I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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