I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
