I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
