Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
