She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
