it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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