Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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