i was born a porn star she said
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
