Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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